Career War Story:

My "Proud to be a Tyrant" Boss Did a 180 on Himself - And the Profound Lesson It Taught Me

I’ve had plenty of managers—good, bad, and ugly. But this story took the cake:

In the late 90s, I worked for IBM in Sydney, Australia. My manager at the time was a classic, old-school, "proud to be a tyrant" type of a manager. Needless to say, he caused a lot of harm to everyone around him, including yours truly. I spent a lot of time, dissecting him, so I could outthink him, outmaneuver him, and outsmart him!

Ten years later, I was living in the United States, watching a recorded seminar filmed in Los Angeles. Suddenly, my old tyrant of a manager from IBM appeared in the video during the Q&A session! He came up to the front, lined up for a mic, and asked the following question with full Aussie accent: "I am beginning to realize I have bad habits A & B & C & ... what's my next step? where do I go from here? where and how do I start? ..."

I shouted out to the video on my computer: "Good on ya, mate!" (At that moment, my Australian English came right back to me, LOL)

That was such an educational moment for me:

1. In the late 90s, when he was in his mid-30s, he bought into the "proud to be a tyrant" mindset because that was the only information available to him at the time

2. He enjoyed the short-term benefits of being a tyrant, for a while, but it eventually caught up to him, and that mindset started harming himself too :-(

3. He started feeling the pain himself, and his own pain was his motivation to improve and upgrade his thinking, to upgrade his entire operating system

4. He became so motivated, he paid out of his own pocket to attend that seminar! tuition, flight, hotel, etc. He was so motivated to learn, he had the courage to get up in front of a room full of people, show extreme vulnerability, knowing he is being filmed, and tell the whole world about his shortcomings. That is not weakness; that is pure strength. That is why I shouted out, "Good on ya, mate!"

5. Yes, I was once one of his victims, but it's great to see him overcoming his own limitations, breaking out of the old thinking that was keeping him down, and finally doing the deep work on himself. 

Managers like him are everywhere:

1. They are not all-knowing. As a matter of fact, they are actually ignorant about human dynamics and emotional intelligence. They are simply running bad software that are yet to be upgraded

2. They are not all-powerful. It may seem like they hate you and have nothing better to do than give you a hard time. In reality, they are just living in fear of the system. There is a little child, scared & confused, hiding inside that adult body :-(

3. They are terrified of losing control. They are not giving your a hard time for their entertainment. They are simply terrified of losing their own fragile grip on authority. Let that sink in. Their ego on the outside, which is what appears to be anger toward you is actually their own deep-rooted insecurity on the inside.

4. Their realization will come, but only on its own terms, in its own time. You cannot force a manager who is proud to be a tyrant to wise up or change for your benefit. They have to encounter their own obstacles and pain first. It took my tyrant of a boss 10 years to reach his breakthrough, but better 10 years than never.

5. You will run into managers good, bad, and ugly. It's like running into a traffic jam - is a statistical certainty, just like running into bad weather. The weather does what the weather is going to do, and you learn how to deal with it. Ugly managers are going to show up in your life, so you just need to learn how to dissect them, by learning human dynamics, Emotional Intelligence & Emotinal Maturity, so you can outthink them, outmaneuver them, and outsmart them!

6. No one was born with this skill - it must be learned. Those who know it? they learned it. And anyone can learn it! Even a bloody Aussie from Down Under, a once-upon-a-time "proud to be a tyrant" of a manager, can learn it, and turn his situation 180 for himself!

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My "Proud to be a Tyrant" Boss Did a 180 on Himself - And the Profound Lesson It Taught Me

In the late 90s, I worked for IBM in Sydney, Australia. My manager at the time was a classic, old-school "proud to be a tyrant" type of a manager. Needless to say, he caused a lot of harm to everyone around him including yours truly.

Ten years later, I was living in the United States, watching a recorded leadership seminar filmed in Los Angeles.

Suddenly, my old trrant of a manager from IBM appeared in the video, durig the QA session! He came to the front, lined up at the mic, and asked the following questions, in his Aussie accent: "I am begeining to realize/notice I have bad bad bad habit X and Y and Z, how do I fix/improve myself..." 

I instantly realized: He's paid out of his own pocket, flown himself from Sydney to Los Angeles, a very expensive 14 hour flight, and paid out of his own pocket, to attend this seminar, and came up to the front to ask a question, knowing he is being videoed and the video will be sold. And I instantly shouted out to my self, "Good on ya, mate!" (at that instance, I started speking Australian again LOL)

That was such an educational moment for me! Basically:

#1 : ten years ago, late 90s, when he was in his mid 30s, he bought into the "proud to be a tyrant of a manager" mindset, that was all the info that was avilable to him, at the time;

#2: he "enjoyed" the short term benefit of being a tyrant, for a while, but it caught up to him, and that mindset started harming him;

#3: he is now at the begining stage of feeling the pain, and is motivated to improve himself, upgrade himself.

#4: he is a motivated learner. so much so, he paid out of his own pocket, tuition, hotel, flight, to attend this seminar, for his own self development, and, he'd get up to the front, line up for a mic, be vulneralbe to a room full of people, knowing his being filmed, and tell the whole world his vulnerbilities. That, is not weakness but strength, that's why I shouted "Good on ya, Mate!"

If you are dealing with a toxic manager or a corporate blocker right now, you need to understand the systemic reality of what you are dealing with:

1. They are not all-knowing; as a matter of fact, they are actually ignorant. Ignorant about human dynamics and emotional intelligence. They are running bad software, a bad operating system, that can and should be upgraded.

2. they are not all powerful. It may seem that they hate, you, they've nothing better to do but give you a hard time. Actually, it's not that They hate you; but rather: they fear the system. That manager who seems to have it out for you isn't losing sleep plotting your demise. They are simply terrified of losing their own fragile grip on control. Let that sink in. What appear to be anger toward you, it's their own deep rooted insecurity.

3. Their realization will come, but only in its own time. Took my tyrant of a manager 10 years, but hey, better 10 years than never.

Everyone go thru the same process:

3. • Phase 1: operating a system that "get the job done" immediatly, without realizing, without concern, of the long term effects. enjoying the short term gain/pleasure without realzing the long term pain.

   • Phase 2: Feeling theimm painful friction  of the of bad operating system

   • Phase 3: start experiencing the long term pain. Realizing that what got them here won't get them there. realizing: the short term gain/plasure has a down side, a cheap shortterm gain comes with a very expensive perpetual long term pain.

   • Phase 4: realizing the ego on the outside is caused by the insecurity on the inside. 

   • 5: do what needs to be done, endure short term pain, in order to gain perpetual long term pleasure: invest in true learning, upgrade one's own thinking.

If you are ready to skip the ten years of trial and error and rapidly install an elite executive operating system, let's talk.

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